Feel So Frustrated....For doing NOTHING....
A former colleague of mine forwarded this link to me. It has touched a deep chord....so a senti blog....dont know why iam writing this...maybe venting out...??
Well, maybe while we used to work together, we have had talks about how we people "privileged" to have the education and ways to ensure a decent source of livelihood, should do something to give back to society.
I remember we have had passionate discussions about this. When I took decision to quit the Software Industry and join the Teaching Profession, he was one of the rare people who didnot look at me as a "mad person", joining a profession that would pay less than half my salary at that time. For everyone else, that word "MONEY" meant "Life"!! :-)
He said, as a Teacher, I can make a difference..to inspire my students to understand and feel the "Joy of Giving".....
But, for all that, I strongly feel...one should lead my example....
I feel so humiliated to know that he tried to practice what he "preached" or "believed in", by spending weekends doing something or the other for the poor kids. Many a time, he asked me to join. Asked to join as family, with my kid and husband. I had some excuse or the other. I never did.
Now he has shifted base to another city with his wife and kid, and continues to do his bit. But me...well, am stuck in my own selfish world...same excuses....
Seeing Mrs.Bose, in the above link, I felt so frustrated....felt so ashamed of doing nothing....
This place Christel House, used to operate very near my house.
There was a Parikrama School just next door.
BOTH the above have shifted to some other place now.
A lady in my apartment, used to teach at Parikrama, when it was next door.
And me....what did I do??
I thought / still think....let me complete my research work....then I will do something....
Is that not procrastination??
Is that not "just another excuse"??
I feel so frustrated....
I know that as a family, if we decide to spend some time on doing our tiny bit, we could....Its just lack of initiative from our side....
I cant do anything alone...I need my family's support....Its just a matter of taking initiative....which somehow is not happening....
Please share your thoughts....on how to start...one small step at a time....
posted by Mydhili Nair at
10:47 AM
12 Comments:
hello ma'am,
all i can say is that don't be sad or ashamed that u r doing nothin. atleast feel proud and happy that atleast there is an urge to do something to the society, give back to it. most ppl, in this selfish and materialistic world don even find the need to do so. atleast u don belong to dat category. in fact me and a few of ma frens share the same feeling and we ve come up with an initiative called ABC which aims to bridge the gap between the uneducated and the educated lot directly. i guess its not jus the duty of the govt even ours as individuals to do our bit to the society. here is ABC s blog http://abc-org.blogspot.com/
lastly, sounds cliche, but "its never too late".
Hi ma'am,
Its just not all about u feeling guilty or ashamed of not being able to contribute anything. At least u are giving it a thought which is the first step towards social service.In fact we friends started collecting funds every month with each contributing as much as they can.We went to slums to find out about the education and basic amenities given to them.Only thing is we didn't have any name for our group :).... It was a very small contribution by us.We went to a few hostels which were for orphans spent time with the kids and it was a new experience for all of us.So u'll and can do ur bit and ur on the right track in thinking about it.
Hello Maam,
I understand the sentiment behind the blog. Firstly, its brave of u to admit to your short comings and come up with this blog, to help u self introspect.
I ve always felt tat there are 4 kinds of goals for any person.For Self, For Family, For Profession, and for Society. Each should have atleast a minimum priority in our lives.
It is also very important to strike a balance between all four, cos u dont want to end up messing them up by trying to do all at the same time.An learning experience which i ve had, its REALLY tough to do all things at the same time, and the perfectionist tat u are, would want to do each thing u want do in best way possible.and thats a CHALLENGE.
Secondly, its not abt getting ashamed for the actions u ve not taken, its all abt orientation off ppl.If one wants to make a difference in something, he ll defi go abt it.If he doesn have orientation, it would be somewat artificial even if he attempts to do somethng.U cant blame someone or urself, for not having orientation towards something.
Thirdly, i personally feel it is not right in giving directions to ppl or tel them wat to follow, it is best to show them the options and let them analyse it and frame their point of iews for the same and adopt wat they want.
Fourthly, i feel the best time to start of anything good is now.It should never wait, for who knows if we ll be around to do tat thng tom? yet, there are restrictions. Eg: This week i am part of organising committee for conducting a week long residential personality development camp, we had a long meeting yeste for discussing abt stuff wat we ll do this week and this being 10th year of our committee started its work, wat steps we ve to take for better reforming of society. But, i know, i cant dedicate my time this week for it even though if i want to cos of college internalsn stuff. but in my own little way, i am doing my bit by collectng funds for running camp, and speaking to resource personnel for organining talks by them etc.It gives me some satisfaction, for doing something which i am passionate abt, and espeacially at times when u are facing problems, looked down upon, or some one scolds u.......for some time all those negative things, i forget cos i ve the feel good feeling that, yes i made a tiny difference in society. and it puts a small smile on my face though it was rotting jus a second before tat.
Concluding, Orientation is something which comes from inside, and not put from outside, i see tat a spark has been ignited in u now, and i feel u ll find ur direction and strike a balance between work family research profession and social commitments.
All the best for your journey to find the right things to do,and to do it. I am sure u ll, and we all are ther to support u in ur endevours :)
Hi Mythili. Shukla Bose's speech was very very inspiring!! Thanks for sharing this. I think it takes a lot of selflessness and real love for service and humanity to do this kind of thing. She is really great! So good to see such people in our society. We need more of them.
As for your feeling of frustration, the good thing is atleast you are feeling something! Else most of us are all very convinient arm-chair philanthropists. The least we can do once in a while - clicking on the yes button to the office mailer that asks to make some voluntary contribution to some calamity, paying a little extra to the maid,giving her clothes and books to see atleast one family well-off, making some yearly contributions to some big charity trusts - like World Vision; we can probably also join Parikrama itself! One small step - but atleast within our bounds and limiations, we will have one thing to quell our conscience and something to show in our Good Deeds Page when we land at heaven's door.
Hello Mam,
I hope, at this moment this is not your cup of tea. Wait for the right moment. Just finish off your research. Make yourself little free. U need to have lot of patience to do such things. Get the peace of mind. There's no urgency.
My Suggestion : Prioritize your things. Don't get carried away by your emotions. Even if u take the initiative later on u should not feel guilty for not making the justice to your job.
Thanks folks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts!
@Aniket: That was a good suggesstion, a voluntary Organization right in MSRIT. Couldnt find any posts / links to work done by ABC. Will talk to you next time.
@Vrock: My gmail address book saus this is Rakshith:-) Hmm...you youngsters can just decide to go give a helping hand making on the spot decisions. Just rush off in a few bikes to wherever. That's unfortunately not possible for me.
@Varun: Wow...that comment in itself is a blog:-)Shows your pure passion to do something that gives the "Joy of Giving", the main feeling required to take up an initiative like this.
@Mrudula: Aha...long since I saw your characteristic free flowing writing.Brought a smile. You and Rajs used to be quite active contributing back to society, whenever you could some years back. Used to admire you both even then!
@Chandan: You are right. I need to prioritize stuff. And yes, right now the focus is to finish off this sword hung on my neck--research! But, the feeling of frustration will remain...there should be some way to START something...like a periodic contribution to some charity...where our time is not demanded.
Read somewhere that our TIME & in turn EFFORT are the most precious things we can give.
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Thank you so much for this video Maam, I feel so free, elated and calm, and this video brought back so many memories, that I'll quickly share:
One of my greatest inspirational teachers, Brother Eric S. D'Souza, taught me in class 10 in St. Edmund's school Shillong. Just below our classroom, he used two halls to run a school for the underprivileged called Providence, that he funded himself.
He taught English? No he Practically reenacted Julius Caesar for us in class! (Maths and Physics too!)
He took extra classes for our ICSE exams all throughout the year, and even during the holidays from 7-8 am. Students from other schools also came for these extra classes. In the holidays, he taught the girls to bake and cook exotic dishes, and literally forced all the boys (geeks and athletes alike) to join sports.
And, in return he asked us to spend an hour after class teaching the students of Providence. I still remember the amazing moments i had teaching the underprivileged children. If he hadn't given me a chance, I would have never known how it felt to teach a child who could never go to school.
The girls who learnt to bake and cook, taught these children in turn. They would open up a little stall in school itself to sell their yummy food, and everyone loved it, not to mention the satisfaction the children got, when their cooking skills were appreciated!
A Flash to the Present day:
Now, the children not only come to Providence to learn, but are also employed! They are baking delicious black forest sponge cakes in premier restaurants of Shillong!
So you have the power Maam! You can share your huge pool of knowledge and expertise with students like us, and in return ask us to do a project for a social good!
Technology is an enabler, and can do wonders for everyone and not just the privileged, and you're an expert in this field!
After my wretched Engineering days, I'll be free to travel and go back to providence, hopefully with enough technical skill to help the school and their children. Perhaps train them how to use open source software, perhaps even get a community to package a Khasi (local language of Shillong) version of Ubuntu!
@Zerob: Who is this??? Hmm...from the way you write, the uninhibited, 'speak from the heart' style, and the mention of Shillong, I think this is Ankan,maybe?? Plz clarify...curious to know...:-D
Yes Maam, its me Ankan :P
Ma'am, first thing first, u r having that thought and it's quite good, generally not many want to serve the society and that's a big leap....
Secondly, simple suggetion, if at all there is something which can be done with ur time constraints n since u live in an apartment may be u can volunteer n teach some kids English or a bit of kids style computer stuff(I know they'll generally be good at english n computers, but something more n something fun) which will really help em....
But kudos to u for even thinking about all these within ur time constraints. Or another boring solution will be, teaching first/second sem kids on how to use UBUNTU.....(best way to popularize the usage of Ubuntu in ISE!!!)
Mythili - If you are short on time and would like to be more flexible with the schedule, look for Virtual Volunteering opportunities at websites such as volunteermatch.org.
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